KIS Faculty Relationship Idiosyncrasy

A (definitely) unique list of humorous quirks that make KIS faculty members’ relationships interesting and different.

Let’s face it; how many high school sweethearts do you know actually ended up together? It’s difficult for two individuals to sustain a relationship, especially if it’s long distance (which the probability of two students in a relationship ending up in the same college or even the same region after high school is incredibly low). However, obviously, I’m not here to be pessimistic about how there is no such thing as happily ever after’s. After all, you never know if the person you’re with is the one who you’re meant to be with – your soulmate, if you will.

Relationships are confusing, annoying, but also rewarding at the same time. Moreover, it’s just nice to have someone who will always be on your side, right by you. There may be no single way to make whatever it is you have with your significant other last forever, but it certainly doesn’t hurt to get to know some faculty relationship idiosyncrasies! Buckle up, because you’re about to step into the world of teachers they don’t usually tend to share with students – what they’re like outside of school with their significant other.

Mr. & Mrs. McKelvie

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PC: Sebin Kum (’17)

“Mrs. McKelvie is the head chef for all dinners while Mr. McKelvie is her assistant in the kitchen. However, Mr. McKelvie does all the baking (cookies, banana bread, pizza dough).

Mrs. McKelvie is the driver for all tandem scooter rides. While Mr. McKelvie is the navigator.”

– Mrs. McKelvie

 

Mr. & Mrs. Bunting

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PC: Mr. Bunting

“I make fun of Mr. Bunting for being waaaaay too specific with numbers. For example, we’ll be driving and he’ll say, ‘That truck is 6 car lengths ahead of us,’ or ‘My appointment is in 8 days’ instead of being general like most people would and saying ‘about 5 car lengths’ or ‘in a week’. When you ask the time he’ll say, ‘It’s 11:43’ instead of rounding up to 11:45. Must be the math nerd in him.

Mr. Bunting has a habit of not finishing drinks. He’ll leave coffee, water, soda, etc half-drunk sitting around our apartment, so I started singing, ‘Brian Bunting, beverage neglectorrrrrr’ at him like an old cop show theme song. I made it into a vibration pattern on my iPhone and now it’s his ringtone for when he calls.”

– Mrs. Bunting

“Here are two odd things that Mrs. Bunting and I both owned before meeting one another, and found out early in our relationship we both had in common.

Sock Puppet Portraits – There is a guy named Marty Allen who sells portraits of sock puppets in Union Square in New York City. He is a weird guy, but his products are really cute and make for good apartment decorations.

Vibram Five Fingers – You know those weird toe shoes that I run cross country in everyday?  Yeah, we both owned multiple pairs of those too.  I could never have married someone who doesn’t love a great pair of toe shoes.”

– Mr. Bunting

 

Mr. van Moppes & Ms. Chang

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PC: Clare Kwon (’18)

“ 1. Toothpaste battle:

Ms.Chang cannot stand toothpaste being squeezed from the MIDDLE! It must be squeezed from the bottom so the tube is nicely squeezed, and to maximize the usage of the toothpaste! Mr. V LOVES to squeeze any part of the toothpaste BUT THE bottom. So, easy solution! We have ‘his and hers’ toothpaste.

  1. Packing and Unpacking:

Ms. Chang thinks through every situation for both her and Mr. V while packing for her trips. She packs for hours maybe days. Mr. V is ready to travel for two months in hmm… 10 minutes or less. After the trip…

Mr. V knows better than hanging around the house while Ms. Chang is unpacking after traveling. She HAS to unpack and organize EVERYTHING as soon as she is home, no matter what time she arrives home! The rule is to NEVER leave a packed luggage unpacked upon arrival.

  1. Coasters:

The rule in the CHANG-VAN household is to ALWAYS place your cup on a coaster!!! Mr. V always MISSES. The coaster will be RIGHT there, next to his cup!!! His cup is always placed just a few inches away. It seems Mr. V avoids coasters.

  1. Running:

We love to do everything together!!! Like we really really enjoy spending time together. No one else we would rather be with. We both run to stay in shape. But we cannot run together. Don’t know why, but just can’t.”

– Ms. Chang

 

Mr. Larson & Ms. Clarke

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PC: Clare Kwon (’18)

We love having game nights with friends, but no matter what team or what game… Ms. Clarke’s extremely competitive side comes out and she always ends up mad at Mr. Larson or blaming him for something in the game.”

– Ms. Clarke

 

Mr. Bryant & Ms. Kelley

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PC: Clare Kwon (’18)

“Here are some of the things that we believe are quirky in our relationship:

– That I am a morning person and Ms. Kelley likes to sleep in because she is a night owl.  

–  Ms. Kelley is very adventurous with trying new foods, and I’m very picky.

– I like to watch a good movie, and she prefers to read a good book.”

– Mr. Bryant

 

There you have it! A (definitely) unique list of humorous quirks that make KIS faculty members’ relationships interesting and different. It is not to say that you and your significant other must have something exclusive happening amongst one another. Rather, it is to remind you that things are not always how they seem – your “ordinary” within your relationship can be defined as an idiosyncrasy to others. Plus, it’s fun to stalk teachers. Just kidding. Maybe.

– Leona Maruyama (‘17)

Featured Image by Hannah Kim (’19)

Live a Better Life: Tips for Mindfulness

Does life feel like a constant cycle of stress that ends in a meaningless void? Do you find yourself drudging through each day? Read about small changes you can make to turn your life philosophy around.

As the second semester speeds up to a full sprint, the cogs and gears of KIS begin to rotate at a blinding pace, sending students into overdrive. Every person you encounter in the halls look ready to rant about each of their weeks- nerves heighten, hearts grow sensitive, and conversations turn one notch negative. And when complaints abound, it becomes easy to get caught up in the whirlwind until all you want is to give up.

But what if there was a way to be a bit more content? Be calm amidst the raging storm? It may sound like an odd “zen” concept, but mindfulness could be the key. Mindfulness often has the specific definition of taking deep breaths, paying attention and being focused in the moment, but I like to give it a broader meaning. Mindfulness is about constantly thinking and reflecting, knowing who you are and where you’re going, and situating your life within the vast machinery of the world. Life is too important to let slip by caught up in emotional baggage the entire time, without ever truly thinking about it. If you’re struggling to make sense of all that, read on for 7 practical tips on how to go about this journey.

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We hate the word “journal” because it evokes the dreary middle school English assignment. But journaling can be surprisingly liberating. This is an activity that is solely for yourself- so there are no rules, no guidelines. In fact, you don’t even need to journal about what happened that day. It’s more about giving your mind a pure moment to take care of what it wants to say. Turn your devices off for twenty minutes, take a pen and a notebook, and see where your thoughts take you.

This can, first and foremost, be an emotional outlet. We are so used to our mental clutter that we decide to live with it, but letting yourself empty your mind can help relieve your stress. Journaling also lets you connect with yourself. What do you fear? What makes you happy? What do you want out of life? These are all important questions we brush away because they are such a long distance from the daily tasks we are trained to prioritize, but certainly ones we should not be ignoring.

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We all have things we enjoy doing and subjects we find interesting. But these are not always offered as a part of our school day. Students often complain about how they want to spend time learning something they want to learn but are caught up in schoolwork instead. It’s important to realize that self-development is always an option.

When’s the last time you read a book just because you wanted to? Or researched a topic just because you were curious about it? What about that hobby you abandoned ages ago just because you didn’t see it becoming a future career- a musical instrument, a DIY project, a painting? Let’s be honest- we all have some time in the day to spare, and we all have the choice to spend it on self-development instead of wasting it away.

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The very concept probably feels very detached, like something you would never try doing. But just like training your body to learn a new sport, you can train your mind to learn a new skill- meditation. There’s a reason why people who commit themselves to learning how to meditate call it a life-changing experience. You’d be surprised at how many sources are available to you online, with plenty of beginner’s guidelines and videos. Take some time to find what’s right for you, and you may find yourself embarking on a journey that pulls you from the obligatory cyclical flow of school into your own flow. The best part is, this can take as little of your time as you wish for it to- just 10 minutes a day can make a difference.

If you’re still hesitant to try formal meditation, everyday mindfulness can help, too. As you move through different parts of your day, try taking a few moments to look around and notice what you’re doing and where you are. Notice your own breathing and the things you see, hear, and smell. In all that time you spend either zoned out or mindlessly buried in a task, give yourself a few seconds in between to be aware of yourself. Notice that you’re part of something bigger- realize the awe of nature or the vast force of humanity that consists of people like you.

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You’ve probably already heard about the benefits of gratitude. It’s one of the best-researched factors that correlate to happiness. It has been scientifically proven that letting yourself be grateful leads to better mental and physical health, enhances empathy and reduces aggression, and allows for a more satisfying work and social life.

Take some time out of your day to think about what you’re grateful for- one recommended method is to jot down 3 items every night before sleep. These may include some lucky circumstances that fell upon you today, the people around you that you often don’t fully appreciate, or even something you were born with in your life. Trust what’s been proven- subconsciously, your mind will focus less on toxic emotions such as envy, frustration, resentment, or regret.

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We all find support in those around us, and we all appreciate our friends and family enough to leave them a message on their birthday or congratulate their latest achievement. But with a lifestyle so busy, sometimes we need to consciously remind ourselves of how much those people mean to us. Where would you be without the people around you? How many times have you felt that someone really cares for you, and how did that change your passing mood? When you sit down to join your friends at lunch after two long morning classes, how quickly are you able to forget your troubles and anxieties?

You have the power to change someone’s day- a random act of kindness doesn’t need to wait until KISRAK week. Just a smile and a word of kindness that replaces an eye roll and a “I have so much homework to do” can brighten someone’s day. In the end, you’ll find yourself becoming a happier person by turning the interactions in your life one notch positive. Connect with someone. Have a conversation that doesn’t consist of individual rants or business-related matter.

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The way you live your life is a choice. Remind yourself of all the things you could be taking control of. You can harness the mindless minutes you idle away on the bus or while brushing your teeth, and take that time to think about something. You can spend your high school career only doing what’s asked of you, or you can do something completely for yourself. You have the choice to spend time with people that lift you up and cut away the people that you know always drag you down. You can take the steering wheel.

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But often, when you take the steering wheel but realize you cannot change what car you’re driving or what the road is made of, you’ll find that the most helpful thing to do is to let go of what you can’t control. Someone out there won’t appreciate you. One of your teachers will refuse to understand you. Sometime in your life, you’ll face unfair discrimination for something. Recognize that everything, in the end, is because humans are fallible- just like you are. You can’t control everything.

So the next time you find yourself struggling with a problem or unleashing a bout of hate and frustration, hit the pause button and consider if the conflict is something you can control. If it isn’t, know how much easier it is to let go. Sift through and spot the things that you can change. By letting go of things you can’t do anything about, you may be surprised at how much power you find resting in your hands.

 

Personally, even the process of writing this article has made me realize how many changes I can make in my life to be a bit more mindful, and how much I’ve let my workload drag my character down. We all need to take a breath and give our tired minds a massage. It would be such a shame to ignore the shifting complexities of our lives and identities- all the beauty that exists for us to feel.

-Jisoo Hope Yoon (’19)

Cover image and list headers designed by Crescentia Jung (’19)

What do you do when your gf/bf cheats on you?

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(c. Tumblr)

What do you do when your gf/bf cheats on you?

LcKjazKca: Your world has come crashing down. The emotional rug has been pulled out from underneath you, without closure. Finding out that your significant other hasn’t thought of you as significant as you have, is probably the worst feeling ever. The trust, memories and affection that’s been built up over the time now means nothing.

But before jumping to any irrational conclusions, first figure out if he/she really cheated or not. Get clear confirmation through mutual friends. When the cruel but inevitable news becomes truth, well, it’s time to end the relationship. It’s time to breakup.

Over the course of your relationship, many of your small, daily habits would have his/her scent left on them. The good morning texts that woke you up every morning, small walks together down the hallway between classes, and the weekend strolls you took together through the city are now all missing. So try to fill up these gaps with new hobbies, and new people! Learn how to cook. Hit the gym. Say hi to that one person you always see in class, but never struck up a conversation with. It’s easier said than done, of course, but it gets better everyday.

Keep in mind, a relationship doesn’t end when you keep grudges, jealousies, or regrets towards your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend. Negative emotions are still emotions. A relationship ends when indifference is the only emotion you have towards him/her.

 

Here are three important points to remember in the process of a breakup.

  1. No contact!

Try to cut all connections that you had with your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend. Unfollow/block them on social media, get rid of mementos of your relationship, and avoid opportunities to meet him/her. This will give you some time and space to reconsider things that happen in your relationship, and ultimately yourself.

  1. Realize that you’re not alone

Surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you. Family members and friends are always there to support you and love you. Spend more time with these people to keep your mind off of your ex.

  1. Stop putting him/her on the pedestal

Acknowledge that he/she wasn’t perfect for you. This step is to avoid delving into regrets and “what if’s”. Start highlighting your own attributes to realize the things you did to make the relationship work out!

 

Last of all, don’t forget that the fact that your significant other cheated on you is NEVER a bad reflection of you. Relationships are always mutual. It was his/her decision to put behind everything you two had together, and walk out. The pain of betrayal you’re feeling right now shows that you’re a person who can prioritize another person before yourself. It shows how much you care.

Things will get better! So breathe deeply. You are worthy of love and you will one day be happy and fulfilled again. You were whole before; and you can be whole again. You’re an amazing person, so keep your head high up, and look ahead.


tumblr_inline_n3rg12VVbE1riwpmj: As much as it’s difficult to think rationally in such situations, it’s important to understand that what you consider to be cheating might not actually be cheating.

Were you two in an exclusive relationship? Maybe it was just a one-sided affection?

If you’re blaming your boyfriend/girlfriend for cheating after discovering a frivolous Kakaotalk notification or an unproven rumor, close this article, sort it out with your partner, and learn to become more accepting in a relationship. Don’t blind yourself with jealousy and over-assumptions.

If you two were truly committed to each other and proof does arise that your partner did indeed cheat on you, well, that’s when you should read the rest of this column.

You don’t do much when your beloved really does cheat on you. You only forgive and forget. Someone who cheats once is likely to cheat again, and unless you’re willing to withstand his/her affairs numerous more times, it’s time to cut him/her off. Feelings of betrayal and shock at how trivial your relationship was will probably drown you in despondency. But know that it’s a matter of time before you mend and erase your cheating ex from not only your mind, but also from your heart. Why waste your energy dragging back home a dump of garbage when it’s conveniently walked out the door for you? Don’t say your goodbyes through a cordial text message or phone call, but meet face-to-face. Hear what he or she also has to say, and make sure you properly articulate everything that you need to address, from why you’re ending the relationship and what he or she has done wrong.

But if you’re still hopeful and eager to give your boyfriend or girlfriend another chance, the first thing to do would be to have a private conversation. Maybe you two can decide on taking a break, which enables some couples to get back together to a more durable relationship… slightly unlikely though. However, the time-out will be a good opportunity for you to wonder if you really should give your boyfriend or girlfriend another chance.

In both cases though, make sure you don’t become the same foul person that your companion decided to become. Don’t go around spreading rumors or talking badly about them, because at the end, the two of you shared memories that will be remember whether you like it or not. Others will too. Don’t you want your partner, or ex-partner, to be well-respected, since at the end, he or she also partially determines your value? Just some things to consider…

– The Blueprint Advice Team

*If you have any questions about friends, relationships, life, or just anything, email us at blueprint@kis.or.kr and we’ll answer them in the next column!

Header: Imgkid